I did not vote for George W. Bush. In fact, I led an impromptu protest in December of 2000 – in the throes of a well-earned hangover – the day after the Supreme Court stopped Florida’s election recount dispute, making him the 43rd President of the United States. But I believe in giving credit where credit is due, and George W. Bush deserves credit for preventing dozens of travel-related disputes between my partner and me, such as, “What should we do today?” “Where should we eat?” and “Which way is the restaurant?”
My partner and I used to argue daily about one or more of these questions, when we should have been enjoying our travels. Our biggest trigger was figuring out which route to take to the restaurant. My brain understands left and right, not east and west, so a compass-oriented map is more confusing than helpful for me. Scott is much better at compass-oriented navigation, but frequently mixes up left and right. So we have been known to waste a lot of time walking in circles and blaming each other for it.
Even though we rarely agree on which direction google maps is currently telling us to go, we are 100% in agreement that the other one should shut the hell up, stop looking over our shoulder, and definitely NOT pull out their own phone to prove a point.
This is where George W. Bush comes in. Two years into his second term, he famously said, “I’m the decider, and I decide what’s best.” We have adopted his declaration as our go-to hack for traveling together without tearing each other apart. And it works like a charm.
When we travel, Scott and I take turns being “The Decider.” The Decider decides everything for an entire day. The itinerary, the timing, the restaurant, and the route we take to get there. The other person can provide input, but only when requested by The Decider. Once a decision is made, the non-decider may neither dispute it nor complain about it, no matter how wrong it is. So, if The Decider says to turn left when the restaurant is obviously to the right, we both turn left and continue walking that way until The Decider realizes, on their own, that we should turn around. The Decider can delegate a decision to the non-decider, but this is done on a case-by-case basis, at the sole discretion of The Decider.
The next day, we switch roles.
Is it challenging to remain quiet as The Decider leads us farther away from our destination? Yes! But does it keep the peace? Also yes! Because tomorrow, we both know that I will be the one misleading us, and I really don’t want to hear about it.
The Decider method has helped us maintain good humor toward each other for months at a stretch, traveling together by plane, train, automobile, bus, and bicycle. So, despite my disapproval of George W. Bush’s war-mongering ways as President, I am grateful for his role as a peacemaker in my own, personal relationship.